How Your Father Proposed 2012 Edition
by Fyuro
Summary: Revised Edition: Sonic brings news to Knuckles that Knuckles doesn't like. And it all goes down hill from there. Oneshot. Knuckles/Rouge pairing. Non-mushy, or overly-fluffy humor romance.


_Author's Note:_

_Hello all! And welcome to my re-written version of __How Your Father Proposed__! _

_A lot of people seemed to enjoy my previous version (as grammatically incorrect and miss-spelled as it was) so, I thought I'd take the time and make a better, __spell check__, re-written version of story ^^ (though, there probably will still be some grammar and spelling mistakes)_

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_**Warning! **_

_**Crack, oocness and other crazy, wacky and just plain disturbing things lurk within this story.**_

_**Do not attempt to read this if you recovering from surgery, are pregnant or may become **__**pregnant**__**, have an affinity for chocolate milk,have a second cousin twice removed on your mother's great-aunts side, or have had a minor homework induced stroke within the past hour.**_

_**Side effects of this story might include Split gut, worn-out laugh box, shattered funny bone, oxygen depletion, and purple poka-dots.**_

_**You've been warned.**_

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How Your Father Proposed

2012 Edition

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It was a lovely Spring afternoon on Angel Island. We start out grand adventure here, at the Alter of the Master Emerald, where once again our favorite red guardian sat upon the stone steps that generations of his family had once sat. His eyes were closed as he leaned against the stone steps of the ancient runes, faded writing from long ago engraved into each one. The echidna took a deep, calming breath...

He was at peace.

"Heya Knuckles!"

Like I said he _'was' _at peace.

"What do you want, Sonic?" Knuckles groaned, cracking one eye open and looking up at his blue friend in exasperation.

"Aw, c'mon Knuckles! Why do ya have to be like that?" Sonic joked, sitting down next to Knuckles and leaning back on the steps as well. He frowned and squirmed a little on the steps. "You know, you really need to get something a little more comfortable to sit on."

"If you're here to meddle..." the echidna growled, glaring over at Sonic with both eyes now. The blue blur grinned.

"Me? Meddle? In your personal affairs? _Never_. I'm only here on the account of Rouge-"

"So you're meddling for her then?"

"Nah, Rouge was just really busy, getting ready for her wedding and all, so she just asked me if I could tell you-"

"Rouge is getting married!" Knuckles exclaimed, bolting upright and grabbing Sonic by the shoulders.

"Yeah. I guess she and Big really hit it off one day and-"

"She's marrying _Big_!"

"Yeah... Something about him being tall, dark, and handsome. How his yellow eyes lit up her world and how her new dream is to grow old in a cottage and have little Froggies of their own one day." the blue hedgehog recited, dramatically holding the back of his hand over his brow.

"When's the wedding?" the echidna growled, shaking Sonic violently.

"Tomorrow."

"Then there's still time!" he dropped the blue blur on the cold, hard steps of the Alter and darted off into the woods. "I'm coming Rouge!"

"Something tells me that Rouge is in for a surprise." Sonic snickered.

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Naturally, Knuckles traveled to Station Square to begin his quest to woo his bat-girl beauty. But, in order to win her heart, he would need a ring. But not just any plain, old, ordinaryring. No, that would never do. Rouge was a jewel hunter, and only settled for the best, most extravagant gems she could find. Knuckles would have to find a ring that fit her fine, well cultured taste.

"Gotta find a ring, gotta find a ring." he muttered to himself as he scanned the rather expensive looking products on the selves of a jewelry store. The luxurious red carpet and golden edged counter told Knuckles this was the perfect place to buy and engagement ring; though the echidna felt very out of place in a store as fancy as this.

"Are doo lookiga fo somting?" A short man asked him from behind a glass counter. He had dark brown skin and had an foreign accent.

"Yes," Knuckles said, walking up to the counter quickly, relived someone was here to guide him through this madness. "I want a ring."

"Ou want ereing?"

"Yes, I want a ring." Knuckles said.

"Ou want ereing?"

"Yes, I want a ring." he repeated has he began to tap his foot irritably

"Ereing?"

"Yes! I want a ring! I want ereing!"

"Oke! What kind ereing do ou ant?"

"It has to be big!... And... and glowing with beauty! It has to want to make her sing out of sheer happiness!" he yelled, stretching his arms out wide for effect. He quit his shenanigans though, when several other customers began to look his way and whisper quietly amongst themselves.

"I got wat ou want. Pease ait ere."

Knuckles nodded as the man disappeared behind a red curtain behind the glass counter.

"Okie! I got ou ereing." The man said, bringing out a black box the size of Knuckles hand.

"Perfect!" he yelled, wanting to leave so badly he didn't even bother to look inside the box and view his purchase. "How much?"

"Hundred dollars."

He pulled out a one hundred dollar bill from seemingly out of nowhere (all cartoon characters can do it, dontcha know?) slammed it down on the counter, and _ran_ out of the store.

"Who was that, Belziber?" A tall man with brown hair asked as he entered the room from the curtain behind the counter.

"It was red man! He geat! I sell te ereing that was in de back to im."

"Someone actually bought that? It's been here longer than I have!"

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Knuckles was running down a sidewalk with his ring, a bouquet of roses, a heart shaped box of chocolates, and a card with a beautiful poem inside (at least, that's what the guy at Walmart said). He passed by nearly identical looking houses. They all had green lawns, white picket fences (sometimes the occasional hedge) and he could have sworn that everyone in this neighborhood all painted their houses the exact same color, and all owned the same, creepy lawn gnome.

Edging past the previously mentioned creepy gnome, the echidna whispered to himself. "I'm pretty sure Rouge lives down on Sommer Street, in the Sky-View apartment building."

"Hey look! It's Knuckles!"

Hearing the his now, the red guardian turned around to see three little girls, probably not any older than six, smiling and staring at him.

"You are Knuckles, right?" one girl asked innocently.

Knuckles nodded slowly, then the girls squealed.

"Our friend Ashley is having her seventh birthday party, but it's not very fun. Could you pleeeeeaaaase come?" a girl with short, black hair asked. Staring up at him with her shining blue eyes.

Knuckles looked down at the things he was carrying. "I'm... kind of busy. Sorry."

"Oh, please please please please PLEEEAASE!" the group of girls begged as they got on there knees and clasped there hands together, giving Knuckles the most sickeningly cute puppy dogs eyes he had ever seen.

The guardian closed his eyes and sighed in resignation; he had always been a sucker for 'the eyes'. "Okay! Okay! I'll come! But only for a little while-"

"Yay!" The girls cheered. One of them ran up and grabbed his things. And the other two each took a hand and led him back down the sidewalk to a small house with white siding and a black roof. Knuckles could see into the back yard, there were lots of pink and white balloons, streamers, and every other pink and white thing in the world. He could feel his manliness slowly ebbing away.

"What did I get myself into?" he groaned as the girls slowly dragged (literally _dragged_) him into the backyard.

"Ashley! Look who's here!" The girl with long, red hair yelled.

A little girl with curly blonde hair and blues eyes ran up to her friends and smiled a huge smile. Knuckles didn't think it was possibly to smile a smile that large. It nearly took up her entire freckled face! "Wow! You got Knuckles to come? Ohhhhhh... THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU so much mister Knuckles!"

"Sure, kid. No problem... But I can only stay for a few minutes, got it?" he said gruffly, wondering if his masculinity would stay intact by the time the day was done.

She smiled and nodded. "Okay!"

Ashley laughed and pulled Knuckles over to where the cake is at. "We'll put your stuff over here!" she tilted her head to the side curiously. "Who's it for anyway?"

Knuckles blushed and his the items behind his back. "No one..."

"Ohhhh... So, you bought it for yourself?"

"No..."

"Hmmm... Tails?"

"Nope."

"Oh, I got it! You bought it for Shadow!"

"No!"

"How about Sonic?"

"Why would I but him roses!"

"I dunno... How about Amy?"

"Yuck! No way!"

"What about Cream?"

"Nope. Try again."

"What Espio, Charmy, or Vector?"

"No, no, and no way!"

"Big?"

"No! That evil little... well, big, woman stealer!"

"Oh! It's for Rouge!"

"Yes! Now will you please stop!"

"... Hahaha! Okay, Knuckles!"

"Oh brother..."

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After a mishap with a pin the tail on the donkey game (where Knuckles accidentally ended up being the Donkey) a horrific game of whack-a-mole that he was _sure _was rigged, and many other horrible, terrifying games that he dare not mention and would probably need to go to therapy to reverse all the damage that had been done to his brain and remove his new found phobia of streamers (he'd never look at them the same way _ever _again). He had finally had enough.

"That does it!" Knuckles yelled as he jumped up out of his chair, he ripped off his pink dress, ruining the girls tea party "I'm going!"

Ignoring all the words of protest the children were saying, Knuckles marched over to the table where his stuff was at, but there was one thing wrong.

"Where are my roses and chocolate!" he yelled as he looked frantically around the yard. He spotted a little dog tearing up something that looked oddly familiar. "My roses and chocolate!" he yelled, point accusingly at the canine. The dog looked up at Knuckles and growled, it pounced and bit his leg.

"Ow! Let go of my you little mutt!" he growled back, kicking his leg out. But ended up falling backwards on the tea party table and knocking it over.

"Mister Knuckles? Whats wrong?" Ashley asked as she ran up to him.

"_**What do you think!" **_Knuckles screamed as he tried to pry the dog off of his leg, a teacup dangling from the echidna's nose.

"You don't have to yell." Ashley said as she folded her arms. "Pepper, come here girl."

The dog let go of Knuckles leg and ran over to the little girl, licking her face gleefully.

"...I'm out of here." Knuckles said after a moment. He stood up, removed the teacup from his nose, snatched his card off of the table and left... Not realizing that the dog had stolen one of his shoes.

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Knuckles had finally made it to the apartment building where Rouge lived. It was a nice place, over twenty stories high with lots of windows, plants and a lounge fit for a king. Yes, Knuckles was tired, and his descriptions weren't exactly... _descriptive_.

"May I help you, sir?" a man behind the counter asked.

"Yes." Knuckles said walking up him. "I'm here to see Rouge the Bat, can you tell me which room she's live in?"

"Hmm... Let me see. Miss Rouge lives in room 167B on the top floor." The man said after he checked his files.

"Thanks." said the guardian as he began to walk off toward the elevator.

"Wait, sir. The elevator is not working today. You'll have to take the stairs." The man said, gesturing to the staircase next to the counter.

The red echidna walked up to where the man pointed and looked up, seeing an _endless_ amount of stairs.

"You've got to be kidding..." Knuckles groaned as he began to climb.

A scruffy looking man in a workers uniform walked up to the counter, just as Knuckles had climbed out of hearing range. "Good news. We fixed the elevator sooner than expected! It's now up and running perfectly!"

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He was certain he must have broken a world record. Knuckles was sure that he had broken the world record for climbing the longest set of stairs in two short hours. Sure, he was drenched in sweat, looked like a wild cave man and smelled like one too, but he had done it!... Oh sweet Chaos, he was finally starting going insane, wasn't he?

"I'm *gasp* here! I finally made it!" Knuckles panted as he reached the door of 167B. "Rouge is just on the other side! But... what do I say?"

He stopped and thought for a while, staring blankly at her door. He finally shrugged. "I guess I'll just wing it..." Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. The sound rang through his ears and echoed in his brain as he waited for Rouge to answer. A small part of him prayed she wasn't home, but the other part desperately hoped she was so he could prevent her from making the biggest mistake of her life! Knuckles heard a clicking sound, watching in slow motion the door knob turned and finally opened.

"Hello Knuckie." Rouge said. She blinked twice, taking in his sweaty, dirty appearance, with leaves matted into his red dreadlocks and pink frosting on his head. She looked down at his feet, noticing he was missing a shoe, then looked back up at his face. "What happened to-?"

"Rouge!" Knuckles cried dramatically. "You can't marry Big!"

"What?" she yelled back, stunned by his sudden outburst.

He dropped on one knee and put his hand over his heart. "Don't marry him! I want to grow old in a cottage and raise our own little froggies together!"

"_**What**_?" The ivory bat exclaimed. Her eyes doubling in size and she took a step backward, fearing whatever insanity he picked up might be contagious.

"Rouge..." Knuckles said as he pulled out the box with the ring inside. "Will you marry me!"

He opened the ring box and looked up at Rouge. She was quiet, just staring blankly at the box. She looked at the it carefully, as if she couldn't believe what her eyes were seeing. Then, after what felt like an eternity for the Master Emerald's Guardian, Rouge did was the last thing Knuckles was expecting.

She burst into tears of laughter.

"Wh-what?" Knuckles yelled, feeling hurt that she was laughing at him in his face.

She laughed even louder, nearly doubling over and gasping for breath. "You-you were in a rush over here, weren't you?"

His eyed widened. "H-how did you-?"

Stifling her giggles, Rouge took the box out of his hands and pulled out what was inside. "Well, first of all. You're proposing to me with a pair of earrings." she said. Holding up a pair of _gigantic_ sun earring that were made out of plastic.

"B-but... I thought they were..." Knuckles began, staring dumbfoundedly at his engagement ring.

"And, oohh, look. They're imported! See? Made in China. Very fancy." she joked and continued reading. "And they glow in the dark... I underestimated their value."

"So what? The ring was a flop... But I got you a card!" he yelled, determined that he would not be made a fool of and handed the card to Rouge.

She opened it, read it over quickly and smiled. "Happy seventh birthday Ashley. I hope that you enjoy the new Barbie dolls I got for you." Rouge read. "So, you got me some Barbie dolls too?"

"I must have grabbed the wrong card..." Knuckles groaned, burying his face in hands shamefully.

At that moment, Rouge accidentally dropped the earrings.

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy fam-i-ly..." The earrings began to sing in a high pitched, phoney voice.

"This day just keeps getting better and better." she laughed mercilessly at the echidna's pitiful attempts to woo her.

"I guess... I guess you're still going to marry Big..." Knuckles muttered sadly.

The ivory bat rolled her eyes. "I'm not marrying Big!"

"You're not?"

Rouge raised an eyebrow at him. "Of course not! Have you met the guy?" she sniffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "He's totally not my type."

"B-but Sonic said..." Knuckles began. His eyes widened in realization and his face flushed red in pure, unadulterated rage. "_Sonic!_" he hissed.

The bat-girl chuckled and picked up the singing earrings off the floor, shutting them off. She slipped each one carefully onto her large, bat ears. "I accept."

Knuckles looked slightly dazed. "Y-you accept?" he choked, his face morphing into complete horror

"Mm-hmm. Come back tomorrow and we'll discuss the wedding plans." Rouge said, turning around and closing the door behind her.

Knuckles stood there, his body and mind completely frozen. "Don't you want to think about it!"

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"I can't believe you told Knuckles that!" Amy giggled as she and Sonic sat down on the couch in her house.

"I knew he wanted to ask Rouge, but didn't have the courage. So I just gave him a little push. I wonder if Rouge accepted?" Sonic replied happily; though making Knuckles have a complete nervous breakdown was a pretty sweet bonus.

"I bet she did. She's liked him for _ages_!" the pink hedgehog exclaimed.

_Knock knock knock_

Amy looked up at the door, a confuse expression on her face. "I wonder who that could be?"

She stood up and walked over to the door, slowly opening it. There was the sound of Amy's indignant shouting and thunder footsteps. Sonic's grin soon died at the sight of the visitor who stood at the living room's entrance. Only one thing escaped the blue hedgehog's lips.

"Uh-oh."

"_**SONIC!"**_ Knuckles roared, darting into the room after him.

"Later Amy!" Sonic yelled, barely ducking one of Knuckles punches and dashing out of her house into the grassy field nearby.

"**I'M GONNA KILL YOU!**" Knuckles yelled, his face nearly as red as his fur. He chased Sonic into the horizon until Amy could no longer see them; though she still heard lots of angry yelling and felt the ground vibrate and shake beneath her feet.

"Love certainly does make us do strange things." Amy sighed, a small smile on her face as she sat down once again, taking a sip of tea. "Very strange things indeed."

The sun slowly began to set on, bringing the strange, chaotic day to a close.

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_All tips, comments and critiques are welcome if anyone is willing to offer it._

_I appreciate any help I can get with my writing :)_

_Review please! _


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